New Beginnings

“Do not remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a NEW thing!” – Isaiah 43:18-19

Wow. Should have found that verse sooner. God’s Timing… I know. But WOW! Maybe this is the problem. I have such a tight grip on the past. I so badly want things the way they were before December 16, 2006. But the reality of it is. I need to let go. God is trying to show me this new thing… but I am stuck in the past. I fear letting go of what is comfortable to me. And by not letting go, I am not trusting God.

This is a new year. A new Decade. I believe there is so much more new to come! 2010 just sounds like a nice good and even year to start things off right. And the week Santana had, I think we are on that path! God has really worked in that kid this week. The best thing about it we didn’t have to put out THOUSANDS of dollars to get what we got this weekend. God is free… In so many ways, God is free. I wake up several times a night and when I do I just talk to God asking him to show himself through Santana and to give us the strength and belief to go on. And He has. Without a doubt. I am seeing the work of God in MY SON! It is easy to forget that God is right with you all the time until you see his work right in front of your eyes. And that is the experience I have experienced this week!

The biggest miracle besides what he is actually doing is his O2 levels have been AMAZING! He has not needed any oxygen to get though. ALL WEEK he was 95%! Saturday… 99% He has NEVER been 99% he is doing amazing! Absolutely amazing. That is a miracle. 6 months we thought this Chronic lung disease was going to take him down… hard and fast. I didn’t think he would make it to the end of the year to be honest. All that talk about a trache and bi-paps and going on a vent. NOPE! God stepped in and saved the day again!

I talked to a few moms and asked what they did to really get their child to move. Floor time was the answer from both. And honestly, with 3 Great Danes and Tyree, that has always been scary for me. But I know I just need to do it! And I was talking to one saying they noticed the biggest difference when they took their children off of meds. These medications Santana is on… 17 of them… are pretty high doses. I have been told that some of his seizure meds are at a dose the neurologist would give me… coming from the doctor himself. That is kind of frightening. So maybe I need to slowly take one away. It would take a VERY long time as many as he has. Then of course when I start thinking like that, seizures start to increase. WHAT?! Is what I like to yell when things change for the worst. Aiming to God of course. LIke… WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. So I thought I better not touch. At the same time. WHY give him drugs that are not helping anyway? LIVER DAMAGING DRUGS! So I am in prayer on what to do about this. If seizures are the same at the next blood level check… which is Weds. The neurologist may start to let me take things off in the seizure department. We will see. But Most of the bottle do say, May cause Dizziness. So obviously it will dope him up a bit. I am a bit scared to mess with what is going so good now though. But it is a risk I am willing to take. We will see.

Speaking of Wednesday. PRAY for this appointment please. Lots of decisions have to be made and it isn’t easy when I have a million opinions coming from different directions. I lay at night asking God to take away all the other voices so that I can hear him clearly. But as you know, his hips are out. Neuro Chiropractor wants to see them in sooner than later. We were told that last May when Santana broke his Femur while we were in California. The doctor there in Beverly Hills said call my scheduler. Lets get it done. I really want to. I do. I think he is sometimes in pain with his hips dislocated. But no one here will do it. So I am going to go in and tell his orthopedist that I only trust him to do surgery to suck up to him as much as possible. He should be happy I trust him… even after he cut Santana’s femoral artery and veins on accident in October of 08. If I can do it here, it is 100% covered and CRS will let us borrow a special chair for his recovery. If I go to Beverly Hills, we have to pay 20% of insurance plus deductible. 20% could easily turn into a VERY high number when you are looking at most likely an ICU recovery with his condition. So that is very scary. But on the other hand, he is well known for this surgery and I know I would not be getting a hack job. I want it done. I do. But first I need to find a wheel chair van. I would NOT be able to take him anywhere in his cast. He would not fit in his car seat. SO needless to say… an expensive van comes first. Can’t believe how much a modified minivan cost. And here they are very hard to find used. I just don’t get it. So our outlook this year is a van than surgery. Then we would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have the Quadriciser for home. But that $15K machine is half of my van! Eeeeeek! So I wait. I sit back and wait for God to show himself again.

Gods promises are so awesome. But the waiting is hard. VERY hard. But this is a new year and I feel things are going to start falling into place. I am going to grab that devil by the horns and kick him back to Hell and away from my family! He can’t do squat as long as we are on God’s team. And WE ARE! Believe!!!

In 2010 we will witness Miracles again!!!!

P.S. Our deepest prayers and sympathy goes out to Haiti and all the families that know people in Haiti.  It hits close to home because James did a mission trip there to run a youth camp when we were engaged.  He came back changed forever and his heart is breaking for these amazing kind hearted people.  Keep them in your prayers.

1 Comment

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  By linda reynolds, January 18, 2010 @ 6:23 am

  You guys are great…..

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