This is it!

Day 310

TODAY IS THE DAY! I am starting to drag. I have to leave my house it 2 and a half hours so I have to make this quick! I wanted to put up some pictures from last night. We were having too much fun! Mom and Jett had fun mocking me as I waddled through the house. I gotta run. Look at the message board tonight for the Baby info!!!! We were all guessing the size last night. I feel like he will be huge! Thanks for the prayers!

Please Fast With Us…/My last night of “peace”

Please Fast With Us…
for the health of the baby! James decided since I had to stop eating 24 hours prior to surgery (which is at 3:00 pm tomorrow [Wednesday]) why not fast and pray for the baby and his health and my recovery? So if anyone would like to join us, we will be fasting from 3:00 pm on Weds. until 3:00 pm (when my surgery starts) on Thurs. If you would like to fast through the surgery, that would be awesome! Thanks for your prayers!!!!!

My last night of “peace”
October 24th, 2007 – Day 309

Tomorrow is my big day. I am so drained right now. I should have been sleeping these last few days, but I had a lot of running around to do. The main thing I needed was Santana’s supplies and meds. I am going to miss my boo bear while I am in the hospital for 4 days. I guess you can say I am starting to freak out a bit. But I know all will be ok. Santana has an AWESOME nurse that just adores him and she is going to do live-in status for the weekend. I know he will be in good hands. Plus my mom and Craig will be in and out of the house.

Jett is pretty excited. I am anxious to see how long that lasts. I am also anxious to see what this baby will look like. Santana and Jett were so different. But with the 3-D ultrasound pictures, I think it will be a good mix.

We sure have a house full. Mike, who is family to us, came from Oklahoma to see this baby and all of us. I hope he doesn’t mind me telling this. We first met Mike on Thanksgiving of 2001 when we were serving a meal in the inner city with the bus ministry at our church. We could see there was so much more to him deep in his eyes. Eventually he got off the streets and worked in a mission as a cook. Then God intervened some more and brought his kids and grand kids back into his life. A year and a half ago he moved to Oklahoma to be with his kids. He is doing so Awesome! He loves God with all his heart and has done a complete turn around in his life. It is so good to see him.

However, we are just a little busy getting everything….especially my mind….ready.

I am exhausted and going to bed. I will write the stats on the Guest book tomorrow night, so look out for that!!!!

Almost There!

Day 308

Sunday at church confirmed that I should still BELIEVE that God can perform a 100% healing in Santana. It pleases God when we believe that by the blood of Jesus one can be healed. That my friend is called FAITH. It was also brought to my mind about the woman with the issue of blood. She had faith that she would be healed by touching the hem of Christ robe and she would be healed. Jesus was amazed by her faith and she was healed. I have never let go of God’s promise. I am not asking God to heal Santana, I am believing God IS healing Santana.

Santana had a great weekend except for one seizure (nothing like the ones on the meds where he was shaking). Sunday afternoon he was getting occupational therapy when he squeezed his body together and blinked a bit. He then passed out for a nap for about 15 minutes. But yesterday, he was VERY alert and looking around and focusing.

I missed him being up and alert because I was in bed all day feeling flu like. I can not get sick before surgery. The last thing I want them to do is put off surgery and I would have to wait to have my little boy. So the question of the last month is, What are you naming this one? It was tough…I was set on a girl. But the name we choose has meaning. Our third by is named after a young man who recently graduated the Discipleship program at the L.A. Dream Center. He was so faithful to pray for Santana and give me encouraging words here and there. When we were there at the end of May, he sat and talked and prayed with Santana for like 2 hours while we were all hanging out. He was amazing and his story is amazing and he has turned from a life of sin to a sold out life for Jesus Christ and is now in the Masters Commission program over there. So because of him, and James’ favorite basketball player, Michael Jordan, we will be welcoming Tyree Jordan Black into this world on Thursday at 3:00 pm. Tyre called and said he was honored and humbled to have our baby named after him, but he made me promise to add an extra e at the end. So we are. God Bless you Tyre! We are so proud of you!

So, back to sleeping all day. I woke up around 5:00 and James reminded me that my friend Elaine who has been by my side even when we got that first phone call, was coming over for dinner and she brought a birthday cake and party hats. A good friend knows that Chocolate cake is my weakness. We took a bunch of goofy pictures with Jett, but…I am not sure I am going to post any. Rarely does the camera get me while I am pregnant. We had fun and it is such a blessing to have wonderful friends.

If you know any of those Qwest users that are having issues getting on this site, tell them that I called them and they had no issues getting on. So, tech support said if they would just call, it is a free walk through and they can get it fixed. I told everyone that, but NOOOOO. Oh well, they miss out on the readings. It is frustrating…but there is NOTHING I can do.

Welcome To This World Tyree!

Day 316

I am sorry to take so long, but I have been really sore from the surgery. At 3:25 pm we had a BEAUTIFUL baby boy, Tyree Jordan Black who weighed in at 9 lbs and 20 1/2 inches long. Unlike Jett and Santana, he had lots of dark hair. He is his own, all 3 of my boys look so different. He is just so playful and full of expressions! I have to make a slide show because I have way too many pictures to choose from. So, if you don’t get Youtube.com videos, like some people I know, I am sorry.

Jett was one excited big brother! He is so proud and even still he is always asking to hold Tyree. Of course we let him and it is so cute. He just talks and talks and stares at him. I never thought he would be as excited as he is. He is such a big helper.

Saturday was the best day in the hospital because Janet (sister-in-law) and Santana’s nurse brought Santana up to see us and he got to lay in bed with me. It was the best feeling in the world. I was so excited to have all my boys together. Santana looked towards the sound of Tyree’s cry where ever he was in the room. It was so awesome.

The best part of my stay was my birthday on Saturday. I did not get my chocolate cake, but James and our nurse brought Santana in SHOES! He had his feet in a nice 90 degree angle in regular shoes!!!!!!! I could not believe it! As soon as I can, I will get a picture up! It is a total God thing! Praise God!!!

As far as Tyree, he was and is a bit jaundice. We just need to keep him in indirect sunlight. He does have darker and beautiful skin like Jett. He also had tongue tie which made it difficult for him to eat. They brought him to me Saturday at 8 lbs and said we can not let him loose any more weight. So in the mean time, I fed Tyree and then had to finger feed (a syringe taped to my finger) 15 ml. I had to pump also and the bum deal about that is when I checked out Monday, they threw away all my colostrom that I had pumped. They gave me movie tickets but you can’t ever replace that.

So yesterday, we took Tyree to his pediatrician and had his tongue tie clipped. Now he latches on much better for feeding and is sleeping longer.

I feel scatter brained and uncomplete as far as what I am writing. So I am going to go get some rest. Thank you all for your support and prayers!

One More Week!

Day 303

Santana seems to be catching a bit of a cold. He has been getting a ton of junk out. Yesterday it was white and frothy, but that could have been his milk. His pump broke again and 2 of his feedings had to be done by gravity. I think they just went into his little tummy too fast. That white may have been a bit of milk trying to pass through his fundo. I am just going to keep an eye on him today and decide whether or not to take him in.

I went for my last appointment before I have the baby! One week from today and my life will get a bit more complicated! Yay! I am so ready for this though. I fear my surgery more than anything. But I think I fear the recovery more than that. I just want to get in a routine to care for my boys. I just want this to be done because I have been feeling flu like off and on the last couple of days. My back hurts so bad and my AWESOME OB doc said stay off your feet and on your side! Like James hasn’t been yelling at me to do that.

Jett is back in school and loving it. He is just an awesome trooper. He knows how to suction Santana in the car now and does an awesome job. Of course we give him much praise for it and make him feel special. This kid has learned more with this stuff then he should ever know. He is in choir and absolutely loves it! He has his first praise party on Halloween night before the carnival. He walks around singing, “We lift our hands in the sanctuary, we lift our hands to give him the glory, we lift our hands to give him the praise, and we will praise him for the rest or our days. yes! we will praise him for the rest of our days.” It is so stinkin’ cute! I LOVE IT! But sadly, with my surgery, I will miss it. I do not believe I will be up to go yet. Not a few days after getting home, that is for sure. But we will find a way!

There are a few things I forgot to make mention of! First of all, Santana has been featured on a new radio show called “Your Insurance Matters” on 1310 am. They are actually talking to Lori who runs the HBOT and she has chosen Santana to be featured on this show. I am going to find out if I can put the sound bit on here so you can hear it. It is on Sundays at 2pm. Listen in! They will be giving updates on him every few weeks. These guys are awesome and the show is interesting because we can ALL relate to insurance issues and getting them to pay.

God is Great!

God is Great!
October 17th, 2007 – Day 302

When I wrote this statement: ” I have been down a bit but I know that the enemy likes to use the doctors to get to me.” I have offended someone and I apologize for hurting this person. I know I do not have to explain myself or feelings to anyone, for this is my diary and personal thoughts from the heart and soul, but I need to explain this statement more clearly for those who do not understand my faith. God wants my family to trust completely in him. Miracles are completed day in and day out and Doctors can not understand it. But Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”

I am not saying that the doctors are evil or my enemy, I am saying that they are going by what they were taught in textbook to earn those letters after their names and not what my mighty physician, God, can do. I understand that Doctors have to state the scientific facts and not all believe in the same higher power as I do. When I say that the enemy is using them, I am simply saying the enemy is using the doctors, or what they state to be known as clinical truths, to bring down my faith and take my focus off of God.

We could not get through the day without a doctor to back us up. I do know that they brought Santana back to life and they did their best. I praise my pediatrician like no tomorrow. I absolutely love her and I trust her. I do think that the team of doctors that are following him are the best. I am still allowed to be disappointed in what they say, but I am not going to storm off and find a new office. With the stress we go through, it is easy to get frustrated and this blog is how I deal with it. Trust me, I do not linger on the anger I release. Once I am done typing, I am done, I do not even reread it or look back. (Hence the spelling and grammar errors, I am sure of).

If you all read the whole blog dating back to when I started it in ICU, you will find that I LOVE St. Joseph and their staff. When we had to go by ambulance twice in June, the second not being a full out emergency, I asked the driver to take us to St. Joe’s. They took themselves away from our neighborhood on a 45 minute drive to do as we requested because I do not trust anyone else with my son. We keep in contact with some of the staff there and we dearly love that place because we made ourselves at home there and did not leave for 6 weeks.

I do not believe I was wrong for making that statement referring to the day they added a new medication for something we as 24 hour caregivers did not see as an issue. My mother instinct was there and look where we are now. I told them I am taking him off the medicine and would you believe that he has not had 1 (one) seizure since it flushed from his system. God is so amazing. He is doing better NOW than even before those meds were given to him.

With all that is said, my faith has been greater improved because I did some soul searching in God’s word and found that putting my faith in Christ is all I need to see his miracle come to pass. God will make us whole in Heaven but his promise also states “As on Earth as it is in Heaven.” I stand on God’s word and BELIEVE!!!

Please forgive me if this is not to someone’s understanding. I hope what you do understand is that our faith in God is our main focus. Not what man says. We believe that when doctors tell us no way, that God will step in and show his faithful promises.

“I put my faith in God’s Promises, Not Man’s Predictions.”

God is Great!

Day 302

When I wrote this statement: ” I have been down a bit but I know that the enemy likes to use the doctors to get to me.” I have offended someone and I apologize for hurting this person. I know I do not have to explain myself or feelings to anyone, for this is my diary and personal thoughts from the heart and soul, but I need to explain this statement more clearly for those who do not understand my faith. God wants my family to trust completely in him. Miracles are completed day in and day out and Doctors can not understand it. But Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”

I am not saying that the doctors are evil or my enemy, I am saying that they are going by what they were taught in textbook to earn those letters after their names and not what my mighty physician, God, can do. I understand that Doctors have to state the scientific facts and not all believe in the same higher power as I do. When I say that the enemy is using them, I am simply saying the enemy is using the doctors, or what they state to be known as clinical truths, to bring down my faith and take my focus off of God.

We could not get through the day without a doctor to back us up. I do know that they brought Santana back to life and they did their best. I praise my pediatrician like no tomorrow. I absolutely love her and I trust her. I do think that the team of doctors that are following him are the best. I am still allowed to be disappointed in what they say, but I am not going to storm off and find a new office. With the stress we go through, it is easy to get frustrated and this blog is how I deal with it. Trust me, I do not linger on the anger I release. Once I am done typing, I am done, I do not even reread it or look back. (Hence the spelling and grammar errors, I am sure of).

If you all read the whole blog dating back to when I started it in ICU, you will find that I LOVE St. Joseph and their staff. When we had to go by ambulance twice in June, the second not being a full out emergency, I asked the driver to take us to St. Joe’s. They took themselves away from our neighborhood on a 45 minute drive to do as we requested because I do not trust anyone else with my son. We keep in contact with some of the staff there and we dearly love that place because we made ourselves at home there and did not leave for 6 weeks.

I do not believe I was wrong for making that statement referring to the day they added a new medication for something we as 24 hour caregivers did not see as an issue. My mother instinct was there and look where we are now. I told them I am taking him off the medicine and would you believe that he has not had 1 (one) seizure since it flushed from his system. God is so amazing. He is doing better NOW than even before those meds were given to him.

With all that is said, my faith has been greater improved because I did some soul searching in God’s word and found that putting my faith in Christ is all I need to see his miracle come to pass. God will make us whole in Heaven but his promise also states “As on Earth as it is in Heaven.” I stand on God’s word and BELIEVE!!!

Please forgive me if this is not to someone’s understanding. I hope what you do understand is that our faith in God is our main focus. Not what man says. We believe that when doctors tell us no way, that God will step in and show his faithful promises.

“I put my faith in God’s Promises, Not Man’s Predictions.”

Seizures are Seizing!

Day 299

Sorry to leave you all hanging and thank you for your prayers! That Thursday night I did not give Santana his dose of Keppra. I did fear that taking him off cold turkey could be bad, but he was only at 1/3 of his dose anyway. We have been journaling his seizure activity. He still had them on Friday, but not as severe. But PRAISE GOD, he had absolutely NONE on Saturday!!!!!! He did sleep a lot, but no seizure activity whatsoever! Today when we got home from church, he had a VERY minor one that we are not even sure whether to call it a seizure or not. His body pulled in but he babbled and his face did not tense up or twitch at all. He did fall right to sleep but he also has not napped today.

Usually Santana likes to nap during church service, but I tell you what, Masters Commission was rocking with Worship and he was totally tuned in to Pastor Tommy. He heard it had to do with Miracles and he was all ears!!!

The only other update I have at this point is…11 more days! I am almost done with this pregnancy! I am nervous for the sake of hospitals are not my favorite place to be, but we will have a new addition to this family of WONDERFUL boys. Jett is pretty excited. He has been on break the last 2 weeks hanging mostly with dad, so at least when the chaos of my surgery and the new baby comes, he will have school to keep him occupied.

I will try to update you as much as I can. Remember, starting the 25th, I will be off for a while with 4 days in the hospital. I will be able to update baby info in the guest book from my phone. So, you can check there.

Pray Now!!!!

Day 295

I just don’t get it. So last Friday he started his new medication for the seizures that hardly existed and we never would have thought them to be seizures. But now they are getting stronger and more in a day. Yesterday his limbs shook while going through it. Today, right after loading him up in the car he has one where his head was shaking. It is so scary to watch because you can not break it at all. His eyes stay rolled back to the left. I don’t understand how things can get so much better and than wham…something else gets added. All I can do is scream “Jesus!” I don’t know how else to pray at this point.

This song is the best for me right now. I have it on my playlist on my Myspace. It is by Hezekiah Walker and on “The Gospel” soundtrack called “I need You To Survive”:

I need you, you need me.
We’re all a part of God’s body.
Stand with me, agree with me.
We’re all a part of God’s body.

It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.
(repeat 3X)

I pray for you, You pray for me.
I love you, I need you to survive.
I won’t harm you with words from my mouth.
I love you, I need you to survive.
(repeat 8 X)

It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.

Rough Weekend

Day 293

Sorry for the gap of writing. I have been down a bit but I know that the enemy likes to use the doctors to get to me.

Thursday, we left the house at 9:00 am for Oxygen treatments, then from there we went to the wheel chair clinic with CRS at Apria to adjust his chair and to find out that it is too small and that they will be ordering a new one. From there we went to DA DA DAAAA…the neurologist. Mmmm… Not to happy. We are now on a new medication for seizures. He does have some for sure I would call seizures, but the ones that the doctor saw were like a tick. But he was concerned so he added keppra. I had been a bit upset about it but since then, he has actually been having more. Sunday morning on the way to church he had one that lasted about 90 seconds to 2 minutes. To describe it, he pulls himself into a ball and then when he releases, sometimes he cries, then his eyes blink for a while with them slightly rolled back. It is kinda scary, but it is minimal compared to other kind of seizures. He also has small ones that the neurologist saw that he calls tonic seizures. Hopefully we can get them under control.

Friday really topped off our weeks end. We went to neuro-rehab for them to talk about the baclofen pump. NO! I do not want it. Not now. They said they would be willing to try the heel cord surgery first. But I think that is not an option for us right now either. We have an appointment in November with a second opinion orthopedic doctor. I asked about splints and they said it would not do him any good. I totally disagree and am frustrated. Basically, they really got into our heads and James and I have been bummed out all weekend.

When are we going to get something positive out of this. I can be brought down really easy right now because I am so worn out from my pregnancy. I have until the 25th, but Wednesday I am begging my doctor to do something to end this misery. I am so desperate, I even looked up home remedies to go into labor. They all sounded about farce to me, so I gave up. I was REALLY frustrated when I tried to lay down with Santana and kept adjusting him 3-4 times and could not get comfortable. Sadly, I had to put him back in his bed and tell him mommy can’t hold him for a while until this is all said and done.

To top off all of our stress, we found that James needs thousands and thousands of dollars of dental work. We can not afford that right now and with James out of work right now and us living tight, it will be impossible to afford. I told him to just go to Mexico and have them work on it. But either way, we don’t have the cash to do so.

Needless to say, God always sends the right people at the right time. Sunday, a couple from church wanted us to come to their store, USA Baby, they own and pick out something for the baby. We had know idea that when we got there they really wanted to bless us and gave us a generous “shopping spree”. We did not know what to say to them. We were in awe. Thank you John and Renae. We really appreciate it and your timing could not have been better.

Time for me to try and get comfortable and shut out the world and let God do his work. Good night.